If You Are Not Happy, There Is Hope
I started listening to the Women's Session of this past General Conference, and wow! Way to start off with a home run! Sister Aburto's talk on depression is phenomenal. Here are some thoughts I had while listening (link below for your convenience):
1. Trust in the Lord. Trust in the atonement and Christ's healing power.
2. IF YOU ARE NOT HAPPY (!), seek medical help. It's ok to take medication. Sometimes your brain doesn't work as it should or produce the chemicals it needs (spoilers: mine doesn't). Our loving Heavenly Father has literally given us these resources for our benefit. If I broke my arm, I wouldn't sit by and not see a doctor; rather, I'd be over there getting help tout suite! Our mental health is no different.
That said, I realize it can be hard to come to terms with this. It can be hard to admit that you NEED help. It took me years. looking back, I wish I'd done something about it sooner. But I let my pseudo humility get in the way ("This is my problem, I'll deal with it because I'm strong." "I don't want to burden others." "This is another challenge given to me to overcome with Christ's help." And so forth.)
Adding on to that last quotation, I will say that it is absolutely crucial to obtain Christ's help in conquering depression. But did you know His help is already out there? They're called doctors, and He has inspired men and women to understand mental issues so we can GET help. But, like all things, we have to make the first steps. Do everything you can possibly think of.
To illustrate, the Brother of Jared built barges to cross large bodies of water, as instructed by the Lord. There came a point when he and his people had to gross the massive ocean (a trip that took nearly a year). Without light, it would be a dark year. Also, how to breathe? These barges were air-tight and would certainly use up all the oxygen before reaching the other side. What to do, what to do...
As is our usual go-to for things like this, he prayed. The Lord told him what to do for air, so the Brother of Jared did so. But the lack of light still posed a problem. The Brother of Jared, expecting a direct answer for this as well as he had received for the oxygen issue, prayed once again. This time, the Lord asked him what he thought should be done. He was left to figure it out. We don't know the entire process behind what happened, but I believe he went through every idea he could come up with until eventually he took some glowing-hot stones, or rather stones-made-to-glass through some heating process, and brought them before the Lord. Despite the new glass stones he had produced, light still wouldn't shine through them without some additional help. He had done everything he knew how to do, and was out of ideas.
Except one.
He brought the stones to the Lord and asked if He would touch them with His finger. Doing so, he said, would cause them to shine forth in darkness. The Lord did so, and these stones were used to help him and his people make the long journey across the deep, thanks to this man's faith.
Are we not expected to do the same thing in order for the Lord to help us? To Oliver Cowdery, after he tried to translate the gold plates, He chastised him for taking "no thought save it was to ask me." Just asking isn't enough. Faith without works is dead, as the Bible explains, and we must do all we can to find help before we can except Him to make up the rest.
For me, getting medical help--going to a doctor and therapist and getting medication--was the last thing I had tried. And, thankfully, it was what I needed. After that, I still had to work hard (medication can only do 50% of the work; the other half is up to me). I'm still trying to work hard, and while I'm not perfect at it, the difference is still night and day.
3. Stop looking inward. It can be soooooo easy to take pity on yourself, thinking that everyone else has problems and you're just trying to survive their idiocy. If you are not happy (and I speak from personal experience), and you get irritated easily with others (again, personal experience), take a deep breath (you're gonna need it) and examine yourself. I mean, REALLY look inward and see what's going on. If you can't find anything you need to work on to improve the situation, then that's a clear sign that there is at LEAST one thing (probably more) that you could do to improve your state. One of my all-time favorite poems says it well: "I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul." There were a few talks in General Conference this weekend that mentioned being in charge of our own happiness. And, as is wont to happen with change, it can be difficult. Doable, yes, but hard nonetheless.
I have found that actively trying to serve others helps me forget about my woes and helps me to love again. And by serve, I don't mean the day-to-day things that normally happen (i.e. church callings, housework, etc.), but to actually reach out and do something thoughtful, intentional. Not sure what you can do or for who? Well, with some prayer and scripture study, I'm sure you'll find an answer. 😊
As Kronk once said to Yzma, "You know it doesn't always have to be about you." And it doesn't. The reason Kronk is as happy as he is is because he takes the time to serve others. He listened to the squirrel share his own woes, and by so doing the squirrel felt better, Kronk felt better, and in the end, they still got what they were looking for (a talking llama). Alright, so that analogy fell a little flat, but you get the picture.
4. Trust in the Lord.
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Alright, that was longer than I thought it would be, but I really loved this talk and I hope everyone gives it a listen, even if you saw and heard the talk live. It's one I'll be returning to time and time again, you can be sure of that.
Love you all. You got this.
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